The Journey Ahead

February.22.2009 at 10:11 pm 2 comments

Journey Ahead

Dear Journal,

Writing for me is almost like therapy, I get things off my chest … it helps me see things from different viewpoints, and it provides a place where I can just be myself.

I know I can’t blog forever … it’ll be odd for me to continue writing until my weeee old age of whenever. I know it would have to end someday, so I’ve decided to stop writing and this is my last post.

It just feels like now is the appropriate time … just my vibe. Do I wish I could continue writing, do I still have little stories I want to tell everyone, do I have topics I want to discuss still? Yes, yes, and yes … of course I do.

Is work keeping me sooo busy I don’t have time to write anymore? No not at all, I still manage to make time for my personal life.

It’s been a heck of a ride, I’ve been writing for about 4 – 5 years, and it’s been an amazing journey. This blog will still be here, that’s the good thing about the Internet.

I could be 50 and still come back to read events from here … which is kind of scary when I think about it.

Anyway, most of my posts deal with my everyday life … what I’ve been up to … how I am … people in my life … or anything interesting I find on the Internet. Just like all the other 5 quadillion people out there.

Friends & Acquaintances
I look back when I write about my friends and when I view at them as a whole, there’s some who are great people that you’ll hopefully know for years to come.

We started out as co-workers, but that eventually evolved into something more, and it wasn’t because we were working there that made us friends.

And then there are some who are great acquaintances, there’s not that genuine friendship there. Like we  only talked or were friends because we worked together and that was the glue holding us.

Without it binding us, you realize there was actually nothing there in the first place, it was just that we had work in common, nothing else.

Anyone and everybody has acquaintances, but to call someone a friend … that truly is something special. You know who you’re real friends are, and those are the ones worth keeping … even if it takes some extra effort. 

Yeah we argue and bicker, but what relationship doesn’t? No relationship is sooo perfect that no there’s no arguments, that would just be weird.

I have to face the fact that I’m getting older and it’s tiring to constantly have people come and go in your life. That the only reason they leave is because we stopped caring and didn’t put that effort in anymore.

Sometimes the simplest things in life are always the most difficult. It makes it seem you don’t have true friends, just many acquaintances … many, many acquaintances.

It’s like MySpace … people have their “Friends” list. You see some who have 153 and others who have 7. You know the person who has 153 might not really have great friends, they just happen to know a lot of people.

Compared to the person who has 5 .. you look at them and know that those 5 are probably their closest friends.

For the friends / acquaintances in my life right now … we’ll see where things go. Can I predict what will happen to them … yes and no. Sometimes it’s far too easy to underestimate the people that care about you the most. 

We’ll see what happens ……….

So for your close friends .. appreciate them for their uniqueness, appreciate them for the way they are, and appreciate them for being in your life and considering you as their friend.

Sometimes we forget how lucky we are to have them in our lives, that we take them for granted. So take the time out and drop a line … it’s sometimes the easiest thing to do.

In the end, every relationship / friendship needs maintenance.The bottom line is that if you care about someone, it’s pretty easy to make the sacrifice.

There are times I write about my family, did I take my parents for granted before? Yes I did and after moving out I saw that and I appreciate them more now because of it.

I go back every 2 weeks to my parents home to do laundry and have lunch with them. I knew after moving out I wouldn’t see them as much. So I made a promise to myself, that I never told anyone, that I would go back and visit them.

I don’t have to, I mean I could do laundry at my apartment complex, but they’re a big part of my life. I’m not going to shut them out just because they’re not around me all the time anymore, that was a mistake that I’m not going to repeat again.

Every couple of days, I call them asking how they are, what they’ve been up to, etc.. I’ve even started talking about things I do with my friends / co-workers, which I’ve never did before.

Even with big decisions, I’ll talk to them first and see what they think. Instead of the way I handled moving out on my own last year. *rolls eyes*

I write about my sister … she’s my only sibling and I can’t imagine her not being my sister. She’s like Version 2.0 .. the improved version that (hopefully) learned from my mistakes. 

I cannot imagine my life without her … she’s more of the realist (at times) between us.

I’m still afraid of coming out to them and wondering how they’ll react to finally finding out I’m gay. It scares me to death and you guys have no clue how apprehensive or nervous I get when I think about it.

Life is sometimes too short to squabble over petty little things or be too arrogant to admit to something … someone you care about deeply could be gone the next day, in the blink of an eye. It sucks to have someone close to you die, it really does.

Communication is key to anything … friendships, relationships, careers, and on and on. Part of it is vulnerability, it’s the key to good communication and healthy relationships. It’s scary at first, but so worth it.

The Journey Ahead
Well this isn’t the end of the journey for me, far from it. There’s still a lot of things I need to work on myself, and it’s not going to happen overnight. Sometimes I care soo much about other people, that I forget about me.

I know that sounds selfish, but I’ve never really taken care of myself. And now I’m paying the price because of it. The only thing we could do is try to be optimistic and look forward.

Yeah my dating life, well more like the non-existent dating life. Do I wish I could be in a relationship? Yeah I do, but maybe now isn’t the time, sometimes it comes when you least expect it.

Would I want to have kids with my partner later on. Heck yeah I do … am I good with kids, no I’m not .. but it’ll be a learning experience. It would be nice to have a family .. as unusual as it maybe … it would be nice, white picket fence and all *laughs*

And Finally …..
Thank you for stopping by … those 1 or 2 people who take time out of their day to come and read. I know it’s hard to do, but from the bottom of my heart thank you and I hope it was a fun, bumpy at times ride.

Thank you for those who took the time to read and write comments … many of them were so helpful, it provided another viewpoint, it provided some encouragement, and it provided insight that I would have never thought of.

Who knows .. maybe in a few years I’ll start writing again or maybe I could actually buy some notepads and actually write down my thoughts, I know … soooo 1990’s.

So thank you again … I’m going to miss doing this, I’m going to miss writing, and I’m going to miss sharing my life with you guys.

I’ll still be around in some form or shape … there’s still Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, Linkedin, and on and on and all those billion social networking sites out there.

I’m going to miss you guys *gives hug* … sorry but I love giving and receiving hugs … *smiles*

Goodbye you guys and Thanks for everything!

– A


Entry filed under: Friends, Life, Personal, Thoughts.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water …..

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anonymous  |  February.23.2009 at 8:35 am

    -A, your blog will be missed.. I’ve read through all pages of it when I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know your starting last year. Let’s keep in touch and stay friends! *hugs*

    • 2. - A  |  February.23.2009 at 11:04 pm

      Thank you for taking time to read everything, I know it’s not easy and thanks for the hug 🙂

      I appreciate your comment, I’m glad you enjoyed it.


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About Me

The short version: Guy in his late-20's, loves technology (especially Apple) and his close friends, eating ice cream on his bright yellow couch and finally .. I'm gay.

But you can read the long version HERE

Quotes Of The Day

- "In the end, every relationship needs maintenance …Whether it’s the smallest gesture …or just picking up back where you left off. The bottom line is that if you care about someone, it’s pretty easy to make the sacrifice."

- J.D. (From Scrubs)

February 2009
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