An Early Christmas

December.20.2008 at 11:54 pm Leave a comment

Dear Journal,

I mentioned in my previous post, mom, dad and sis are going to Vegas next week. Which means we won’t get to spend Christmas as a family, I’m  sad about that.

I’m thankful we got to celebrate Thanksgiving together though, it was fun playing Wii with my parents and sis, even though I lost to them. Is that even possible that mom beat me .. at a video game!?!?

My sister was joking that mom conned me, supposedly she doesn’t play the Wii that much. The sad thing was I tried so hard to win against her.

I know I don’t have the strongest relationship with them; but they’re my family and I wished mom didn’t decide to go on this trip, she could have gone anytime.

I wasn’t expecting to spend Christmas and most likely my birthday alone … I hate being by myself during those day’s.

My friend James did offer to have dinner on my birthday, but as usual … my stubbornness got in the way. That and something else was on my mind which made me act like that.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so stubborn ….. it ruins more things in my life than I can think of.

I never seem to let people do things for me, regardless of how close they are or aren’t:

  • Like when my own grandmother told my mom she wanted to cook some food and have me pick it up after work.
    • I’m thinking, why did she do that? She didn’t have to cook food for me.
  • Or when my co-worker paid for lunch that one day.
    • I’m thinking, he didn’t have to do that? Was there a reason he did?
  • Or when a friend cared enough to ask if I wanted to do something for my birthday.
    • I’m thinking, he doesn’t have to and probably doing it because he’s obligated.

In every single situation, I never see that these people care enough to do things for me. Growing up I was never accustomed to having people like that in my life, except for my family.

Anyone beyond that, it was just awkward to know that someone beside my family cared.

In the back of my mind I’m thinking, they’re only doing it because they have to; not because they were concerned and wanted to.

I think I’m like that because if I have someone who does care, it’ll be harder to let go when we lose touch and become distant. The feeling of losing someone close to me is what I try to avoid I guess.

If I knew the other person didn’t care, it would be easier to let go and move on. 

I know everyone  means well, but I’m too stubborn to admit it or acknowledge that fact because it means there’s someone out there who’s concerned about me.

And that’s a scary thought  … 

Anyway,  I’m planning on spending Christmas early with my family on Sunday. My sister and I haven’t gotten anything for my parents or my grandparents. So we’re planning on going to the mall when she comes home for Christmas break on Saturday.

Apparently she did well in her classes and I was happy to hear that. When I call her, their seems to be drama with this particular roommate, “T”.

Apparently, she’s dating this new guy, would you believe her ex’s name was “Merlin”? No joke.

So they were in the car with their other roommates when my sister asked “T” a question.

She didn’t reply because she was busy texting. (My sister hasn’t seen her for 3 weeks, “T” either stays at the boyfriend’s place or comes back late.)

And since they’re all busy with school, they rarely see each other … even though they live together, which is ironic.

My sister was frustrated with “T” because she asked how she’s doing since they’re not going to see each other for awhile, but “T” was only concerned with her new boyfriend.

Sis was saying how she thought “T” was acting selfish, that after 3 weeks … her only concern was the new boyfriend and nothing else. When she was telling me all this, all I thought was …..

Anyway … so I’m going to bring the Wii Fit that I bought as my sister’s / mom’s / and apparently now my dad’s Christmas present. I’m pretty excited to give it to them and hope they love it, and yes … I’m still going to try and beat mom at it. *smiles*

When it comes down to competing .. there is no family, ha!

– A


Entry filed under: Family, Life, Personal, Thoughts.

Holiday Musings (Odd’s and End’s) A Season Of Giving

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About Me

The short version: Guy in his late-20's, loves technology (especially Apple) and his close friends, eating ice cream on his bright yellow couch and finally .. I'm gay.

But you can read the long version HERE

Quotes Of The Day

- "In the end, every relationship needs maintenance …Whether it’s the smallest gesture …or just picking up back where you left off. The bottom line is that if you care about someone, it’s pretty easy to make the sacrifice."

- J.D. (From Scrubs)

December 2008
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