“C”‘ing Star’s

December.6.2008 at 10:45 pm 4 comments

Dear Journal,

It was surprising to me that they were filming Ghost Whisperer at work the other day. I told my sister about it and she said it’s funny how they always film at places I work at.

My co-workers and I were eating at the courtyard when we saw them, no one knew at first what they were doing. Eventually we saw Jennifer Love Hewitt and pieced everything together.

As we were eating lunch, they filmed the same scene about 4 times. I was thinking how dull it was to do the same thing over and over again.

So when the episode airs and you see Jennifer and some guy walking in a courtyard surrounded by red brick buildings, that’s where I work at. 

They replaced all the signs with, “Rockland University”.

Anyway .. onto hanging out with “C” again …

I mentioned him in my last post and was kind of seeing him. He emailed me last Sunday asking if I wanted to grab dinner on Tuesday.

My initial answer was to say no because I didn’t want to sit in traffic, but I thought about it and decided to meet him. I replied back and asked if Red Robbin’s was all right, since I’ve been craving their fries.

He was fine with it and I told him the time we could meet.

Flash forward Tuesday night …..

As I walked towards the door I didn’t see him, so I text asking where he was. Apparently it was too cold so he went back to his car *rolls eyes*

I thought he came from work, but he was still taking vacation and just came from San Diego. He went to visit his sister or something.

We went in and got our seats and began “The Interview, Part 2”.

Anyway, the entire dinner he was asking questions, after questions ……

So half the time I wasn’t even paying attention.

He was saying he was “frightened” after our first date because we were so similar, I was thinking, “No shit sherlock!”. That he would try and find any differences between us during dinner.

At that point I was annoyed and decided anything he said, I would say the opposite.

We got our food and started to eat with him still firing questions.

I didn’t care anymore so I was enjoying my delicious fries and scarfing it down like a champion!! I wasn’t having fun  anymore because it felt exactly like an interview, he would ask:

  • If you were to wake up anywhere, without any worries, where would it be?
  • What’s the craziest thing you have ever done?
  • Have you ever been in a relationship?

And every single time I answered him, he would reply back with, “Oh .. that’s interesting”. In my mind I would think, “What’s so damn interesting!?”

After answering him, I would ask him the same question. While he was replying I was thinking how fast I could finish my hamburger so we could end dinner early.

We finally finished and he was going to pay again. I felt bad because he picked up the tab last time, so after some convincing, he finally let me pay.

I was tired, so I grabbed my jacket to get ready to leave; plus I wanted to watch Fringe. (Can’t believe we have to wait until Jan. 20th to see a new episode)

After dinner, it just showed me that we wouldn’t work out, it’s something about him that doesn’t feel right when I’m with him. I know we’ve only known each other for a week, but still .. my gut says, “No”.

I got an email from him when I got home asking me to do something with my hands and let him know the results. Another prime example of stupid tests that I have to hurdle through with him.

So I did his stupid thing and he was surprised by my answer. He thought he knew me like the back of his hand after only 2 weeks. I hate it when people make assumptions about me.

He replied back apologizing for making his assumption. He mentioned that he wanted to watch Wicked since it’s ending soon (which I do also because I’ve heard rave reviews about it).

I was hesitant to go because I didn’t want to do another round of questions, so I avoided the topic and made an off hand remark on how difficult it would be to get tickets.

“C” emailed me the next day, in short he said he liked me but felt that I wasn’t showing any interest. So he was asking me if that was true or not.

I wasn’t going to lie to him, so I told him how I felt; that I wanted to be friends first, instead of going straight into a relationship.

I hate the concept of dating because the objective is to see if the other person could be your potential mate. So you’re bombarded with questions and stupid mind tests that you have to go through and hopefully pass.

Compared with hanging out as friends because the objective there is to enjoy each other’s company. I mean you will eventually get to know them by spending time with them.

So the whole time I was with him, instead of getting to know me as a person, it felt like he was making sure I was a perfect match for him. 

I just wished we hung out as friends first and got to know each other by doing stuff together, instead of it feeling like an interview. Just like how you know your best friend, you got to know them by hanging out and talking to them.

I mean if two people rarely talk or hangout , how are they ever suppose to know each other?

So I think “C” knows where I stand with him now, do I still think we could be together … nope. I guess he really wanted something more than a friendship because we haven’t spoken since his last email.

Back to the drawing board for me … I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up dying alone. So continues the trek to find that other half … onward we go!

– A


Entry filed under: Gay, General, Life, Thoughts.

Date’s ~ Interview’s Holiday Musings (Odd’s and End’s)

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anonymous  |  December.7.2008 at 12:55 am

    Hey -A.

    I was the same guy who posted a comment on your “That Adorable Bear” post where the first hints of “C” is felt. I was reading the other two blogs you have that circled around “C” and I thought compelled to post a new comment that I hope will give you a different perspective. I too am gay and I do relationship counseling. You said you haven’t a lot of gay friends to talk about things so here is one for you.

    – Platonic relationship also takes time to grow and reach that “comfort zone” (a status in any relationship where two people don’t even have to utter a word, just be together and have the bestest of time) Have you considered that “C” is “firing” you question after question, even those that you considered stupid, is a way for him to get to know you more and something that hopefully will eventually lead you two to the next level nearer that “comfort zone”? Or alternatively, his way to avoid an awkward silence? Did you try to just talk normally to him, open up and discuss anything? It just seems like you are brushing off everything he say & do and is being so defensive.

    – Also it sounded very odd that you are expecting him to talk to you after saying where you stand with him. To my perspective after reading your insights if I were him, why would I try approach you and try to come up with subjects to discuss when I know you will think they are stupid and useless?

  • 2. - A  |  December.7.2008 at 10:20 pm

    Hey, thanks for the comment again. I removed your name out of privacy reason, wasn’t sure if you wanted it posted.

    Anyway …

    – Yeah I knew he was asking questions to get to know me better, as I did to him as well. But to me it felt forced, in the sense that I got to know my friends through chatting and hanging out with them. I could be talking to a friend about movies and find out that their favorite one is “XYZ”

    Instead of me directly asking them, “What’s your favorite movie?” or “What’s your favorite food?”. I don’t mind it, but it really did feel like an interview after awhile.

    I think you’re probably right about the awkward silence moment. I remember our first date I would ask him a question when it got quiet or made some off handed comment to break the silence.

    I tried talking to him normally, but somehow it got to him asking me questions again. I didn’t think all of his questions were stupid, I just got frustrated and really didn’t know what to do.

    Going on actual dates is new to be, I’m so use to going out and just hanging and relaxing with friends. So when it came to this … it was something I’m not use to.

    After telling him how I felt, I wasn’t sure if I should reply back because it may seem like I was still interested? So I wanted to him reply back so I knew he was comfortable in our “friendship” status now.

    You’re absolutely right about him approaching me after. If I were in his shoes I would probably do the same thing as well.

    This is all new to me and in the end I do want to be in a relationship, I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life. And I’m still trying to figure out what type of guy I’m even attracted to.

    So to update you as well, he actually emailed me asking how my weekend was. I was originally going to email him after I got home tonight, but saw he already did.

    He sent some links of his photography since we’re both interested in it.

    So I guess we’re still friends then? I’ve never been great at relationships (including friendships as well)

    Well it was nice to get all of that off my chest and have another perspective. I love my friends (who are all mostly straight), but it’s sometimes hard for them to relate or understand.

    But honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart for you advice and comment. It’s just nice to see something from a different view except for mine.

    Have an awesome weekend.

  • 3. Anonymous  |  December.8.2008 at 11:40 am


    I completely understand the feeling of being interrogated rather than hanging out & talking. It seems like you and “C” has not gotten pass that first stage, still not being comfortable around each other yet and is still so much concerned about everything that revolves around you both. This personally I think is one of the biggest hurdles of any budding relationship. Once this is passed and you two become comfortable around each other then that “friendly hanging out” mode will kick in.

    My suggestion is to just give yourself and “C” some more time to better your relationship. You both seem to still be interested in being friendly right now and it looks like neither of you is completely shutting down the idea to be romantic. If there is something down the road for the two of you as friends or something deeper I say just let time help you and “C” find it.

    Also, just as a last piece of advice. Just like many of us you said you want to find someone and that you do not want to be single for the rest of your life. This is something I always tell everyone, take a risk! Finding someone and the process of falling in love involves some risk for all of usl. If you weigh and compare every benefit and disadvantage with each person you meet it would prove to be most difficult. It’s also a bit of a gamble finding someone and we must in some instances take a chance.

    Happy Holidays!

  • 4. - A  |  December.9.2008 at 9:30 pm

    Hey, thanks for the reply. I think we’re still in that friendship mode right now, which is nice. There doesn’t feel like that pressure right now.

    Take a risk huh? I’ll try .. even if I have to push myself because I tend to be stubborn at times.

    Happy Holiday’s to you too, thanks again for everything.


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About Me

The short version: Guy in his late-20's, loves technology (especially Apple) and his close friends, eating ice cream on his bright yellow couch and finally .. I'm gay.

But you can read the long version HERE

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- "In the end, every relationship needs maintenance …Whether it’s the smallest gesture …or just picking up back where you left off. The bottom line is that if you care about someone, it’s pretty easy to make the sacrifice."

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