Date’s ~ Interview’s

November.29.2008 at 11:30 pm 6 comments

Dear Journal,

It’s weird trying to date … I’m not use to it at all.

Dating is like going on a job interview. You don’t know if you get the job, but if you do, you get to see the interviewee naked.

So I went on one (or as I like to call it, “hanging out” because I get nervous when I think of it as a date). We’ll call him, “C”, we were emailing back and forth during the week and I asked if he wanted to hangout last weekend.

We decided on dinner for Saturday. I got there early and text him saying I arrived. It’s weird giving out my personal number to a random guy I’ve never met.

He replied that he was waiting in front of the restaurant. I nervously walked up, my heart beating not sure of what to expect, afarid the entire night would be awkward silence.

As I walked up, I saw a guy standing there with his back towards me. He was about my height, dressed well, and in good shape.

Me: Ummm, hi .. are you “C”?

C: Hey, yeah.

Me: Well nice to meet you (as I shook his hands)

I don’t know if it’s a gay thing, but I sensed that he wanted to hug me. Of course, I’m use to doing the “straight guy hand shake”.

I was underdressed (jeans, Converse shoes, sweater and a cardigan), while he was overdressed (loafers, dress pants, and dress shirt).

We walked in and he said it was his first time here, which I wasn’t expecting because I thought he had gone before. There was some awkward silence because I wasn’t sure what to say.

So I started with simple topics, “Was traffic bad for you?” ….. “How long did it take you to come here?”.

We got seated right away and started looking through the menu. It was a Korean restaurant so I knew (most of) the dishes they served.

He asked the server for recommendations, we eventually got Bulgogi (which was delicious) and this Spicy Soup Dish (which I didn’t want because I don’t handle spiciness well).

Most of the night I ended up asking him questions, so it felt like an interview.

  • What part of [INSERT CITY] do you come from?
  • What company do you work for?
  • What kind of guy do you usually “hangout” with?
  • What are some of your hobbies?

Seriously, it was me interviewing him, and he asked me some questions as well, so it wasn’t too bad.

We finished dinner by 08:30 and he asked if I had any plans afterwards. “Not really … just this”, I said cautiously. He said the same thing and suggested we could get coffee.

And yes .. he even has an iPhone, so it was easy for me to speak iPhone language to him without looking like a madman.

He located one within walking distance. He got tea and I got a latte (which I’ve never tried before, it was a bad idea because I didn’t fall asleep until 02:00 a.m.).

While we were ordering I felt awkward because I think the cashier knew “C” and I were on a date. So he had that face of, “Oh .. here are these two gay’s”. It bothered me a little bit, but not to the point that I would obsess over it.

We got our drinks and found a table. In all honesty I didn’t really want to go get coffee, but I felt bad because it seemed like he wanted to hangout still.

So we talked about Apple, politics, our jobs, working out, photography, and family. It’s scary because personality wise he is similar to me.

He was polite as well:

  • … paid for dinner (which I felt bad for)
  • … excused himself when he went to the restroom (who does that these day’s?)
  • … and always opened the door for me (which was unusual)

During the entire time it felt like I was dating and talking to myself. It’s a great feeling to find someone who has a similar personality as I do and similar hobbies, but I didn’t feel anything between us.

We sat there talking until the Starbucks closed, as we were walking to our cars he said he liked my Converse. That he had a pair too and loves them since they’re comfortable (in my mind I’m thinking, “Ummm, can you point out another similarity between us?”).

If it turns out we end up being friends, I would be satisfied with that. Look-wise he would not be someone I would typically go for; he’s good looking, don’t get me wrong .. but he’s not my type.

Part of me doesn’t really know what to do because this is kind of new to me. These are the times I wish I had someone to talk to and just bounce ideas off of.

I mean do I text or email him asking how he’s doing? Or do I just wait for him to make the next move?

He did send a text when he got home and said he would like to hangout maybe after Thanksgiving.

We’ve also emailed each other after our date, simple conversations though.

He texted me a couple of times, some of them were simple like, “How are you and how’s traffic?” and some of them just makes me feel odd like he wished I was near him so he could “embrace” me.

In my mind I’m thinking, “Ummmm, yeeeah … ummmmm … no thanks?”. I don’t understand what he see’s in me and if he like me more than I do.

I felt bad one night because it was his birthday and he called to talk. But I wasn’t in a talking mood because I came home late that night and was exhausted.

So I text him back apologizing for my behavior.

And who knows, maybe he wasn’t interested in me after all and he’ll stop talking. Which I’m use to by now thankfully.

Then there’s this other guy I’m talking to, it’s unfair they way I’m treating him. I’ll probably write it in another post. I should be ashamed of myself for doing this to him.

– A

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Entry filed under: Gay, General, Personal, Thoughts.

That Adorable Bear “C”‘ing Star’s

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anonymous  |  December.1.2008 at 6:16 pm

    I have been on similar occasions where the guy seem to be interested on me but I don’t feel the same way and vice versa; so the only suggestion I will say is for you to be honest, be true to yourself and tell him you don’t see anything romantic coming out between you & “C”. That way no false hope is out there.

    Reply
  • 2. - A  |  December.1.2008 at 10:29 pm

    Hey, thanks for the comment, really appreciate it. I was thinking about that too, I just feel bad at times because he seems like such a nice guy.

    And I’m basing something on an instinct, but deep down I just don’t feel anything with him right now, like you said .. I have to be honest with myself.

    Reply
  • 3. Fen  |  December.2.2008 at 2:25 am

    go with your instinct, it’s generally right.
    I despise dates, to me it’s all so forced, all that scrutinising!! I’d prefer to hang out too!

    Reply
  • 4. trinity2  |  December.2.2008 at 6:06 am

    I think it’s perfectly fine to test out the waters. Sometimes dates just go like that.

    Reply
  • 5. - A  |  December.2.2008 at 5:58 pm

    Thanks for the advice again.

    Fen – I despise dates as well, it just all seems so unnatural and like you said, forced.

    trinity2 – Thanks, this is basically my first time “testing” out the waters. I don’t really expect much, I’m actually hanging out with him again tonight. Guess we’ll see how (if anything) goes ..

    Reply
  • 6. “C”‘ing Star’s « Moments Of Randomness  |  December.6.2008 at 10:45 pm

    […] mentioned him in my last post and was kind of seeing him. He emailed me last Sunday asking if I wanted to grab dinner on […]

    Reply

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About Me

The short version: Guy in his late-20's, loves technology (especially Apple) and his close friends, eating ice cream on his bright yellow couch and finally .. I'm gay.

But you can read the long version HERE

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