Coming Home Late

November.25.2008 at 12:01 am 2 comments

Dear Journal,

Working late isn’t the funnest thing, the only positive outcome is there’s not as much traffic!! Did I mention how much I despise the 710 freeway now?

Anyway, I got home around 07:40 tonight and by the time I took a shower and cooked dinner it was already 08:00. When I finally finished eating and washed the dishes, somehow it was 08:30 and I still had my “mini-chores” to do.

It feels like I’m rushed because I still have tasks to finish, but there isn’t enough time.

That in a couple more hours I have to wake up and repeat the same thing.

For tonight as an example, I wanted to finish writing my draft about the “date” I went on.

But my mind’s tired and proofreading it isn’t on the priority list right now *laughs*.

Dating or more like hanging out is weird for me, I don’t know what I’m doing.

  • Should I ask him how he is after our date?
  • Can I call him and just talk to see how he is?
  • Should I wait for him to make a move before I do?

And on and on and on … everything is just new to me and I don’t want to mess it up. It’s funny because one guy wants to get into my pants (no joke) and I feel like the other guy is moving quickly (sort of).

Knowing me, somehow I’ll end up messing up the relationship with both of them. These are the times where I wish I had a friend to talk and bounce ideas off of.

I mean I sit there at work and see other co-workers talk about their relationships, they ask advice on situations they’re in (both positive and negative), or try to get a different perspective on their dating lives.

While I sit there silently because of the fear they’ll find out I’m gay. What I don’t understand yet is why I’m afraid to let them know. Honestly .. what’s the worst they can say?

So hopefully I have time to finish my draft about my “date” tomorrow.

– A


Entry filed under: Gay, General, Personal, Thoughts.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Awake In Rochester  |  November.28.2008 at 2:50 am

    It sounds like you should make more gay friends. Is there a gay organization in your area? Any programs, church, etc, you can attend & make some gay friends? I don’t hang out with many gays either, but I should.

    I’m not out at work either. It can be a difficult place to come out.

  • 2. - A  |  November.28.2008 at 11:14 pm

    Yeah that’s what I constantly remind myself of too. I’m in L.A. so there’s no trouble in finding one .. the only obstacle blocking myself in going out is … well me.

    I’m very stubborn at times and I know I should, but I just lose my willingness to do so. Let’s hope that I can put this as one of my life goals for next year.


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About Me

The short version: Guy in his late-20's, loves technology (especially Apple) and his close friends, eating ice cream on his bright yellow couch and finally .. I'm gay.

But you can read the long version HERE

Quotes Of The Day

- "In the end, every relationship needs maintenance …Whether it’s the smallest gesture …or just picking up back where you left off. The bottom line is that if you care about someone, it’s pretty easy to make the sacrifice."

- J.D. (From Scrubs)

November 2008
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