So Yeah, Happy Birthday

Dear Journal,

I mentioned it was Ryan’s birthday last week and he had a bowling party on Wednesday. I decided to go because I haven’t seen him for months, plus I wanted to give him his birthday card.

They had it at 300 Anaheim, at the Garden Walk.

Anyways as I arrived, he was sitting and eating pizza with a couple of other people. I said hi to him and gave him his card. I greeted a couple of other people and sat down with another friend, Cherish.

They wanted to bowl after 09:00 p.m. because it was a cheaper rate. It was awkward because I was still in my business-casual work clothes and everyone else were in t-shirts and jeans.

Once 09:00 p.m. came they started to get their balls and shoes ready, I just wanted to relax and watch them.

Ryan and I never really talked, or both of us never made the attempt to do so.

He seemed quiet throughout the night, which was unusual for him.

Okay on a side note, I found it amusing when these 4 girls came trailing in. The moment I saw them, I was reminded of the movie “Mean Girls“. You had the Alpha Female and 3 Minions following her.

I told Ryan about it and he said the same thing to this friend.

So she made her way through the crowd, introducing herself and her entourage. Every couple of minutes I see them taking pictures or hear, “It’s picture time again!!”. *rolls eyes*

After a couple of minutes of talking to everyone, she sat next to my buddy and complemented him on his shirt.

As they were talking, her entourage was waiting, one watching people bowl and the other two on their cellphones texting away. It was funny .. well to me anyways.

I noticed Ryan was sitting alone at times, waiting for his turn to bowl. Everyone were in their cliques, except for him … he was just by himself.

Part of me wanted to go up and sit next to him, and see how life’s treating him. But these days it’s awkward in the sense that if I text or call him, he’ll reply back, but that’s all he’ll do ….. reply back.

Like he’s talking to me out of courtesy and nothing more.

I’m thinking how it ever get to this point between the both of us …..

As I was talking to my buddy, I noticed Ryan glancing back at us a couple of times .. more like twice. The only thing he said was goodbye to me as he was leaving, I wished him a Happy Birthday.

I didn’t get him a gift this year .. just a card .. honestly I didn’t know what to buy him. I was going to get him a caramel apple, but I heard he just had his wisdom teeth removed, so I didn’t think it would be a great idea.

He usually text’s back saying thanks for blah blah blah .. he didn’t do that this year, which is unlike him. Part of me wonders why he asked me to go in the first place, I could have ask someone else to give him the card for me.

Anyways, afterward we left, I felt bad for not attempting to talk to him.

• Do I miss him as a friend, hell yes I do. It was always fun hanging out with him and you miss a great friend.
• Would I admit this to anyone? No because I’m too stubborn to admit it and it makes me look weak (in my eyes anyways).
• Am I over the crush that I had on him, most definitely yes. I sometimes wonder why I even liked him in the first place, ha!

I’ve tried my best to talk and ask how he’s doing, but I could tell he’s not interested. He reminds me of how he talks to this one guy he knew.

I mean he doesn’t talk to me these days, so why was I expecting him to do so in the first place?

Also can someone please tell my why I’m having a meeting at a club? Like a dance club?

– A