“Don’t You Get Lonely?”

July.20.2008 at 11:01 pm 2 comments

That is the question I always get when people come over my apartment.  Of course my reply is yes, I mean a one bedroom apartment with just myself …

I come home after work and instead of saying, “Honey .. I’m home!” and seeing someone there. It’s usually emptiness and silence responding back to me. Would it be better with a roommate though? … Well … yes and no.

Yes in the respect that I’ll have some company when I’m home and No in the respect that I won’t have privacy. So it takes some compromising … like anything in this world.

Anyways … Nat and Reina came by my apartment. I texted Nat a couple of weeks ago asking if she wanted to hang out … again she had to check her schedule because it’s never set in stone. 

She called last Saturday when I was working from home and said she could stop by on Monday. We talked a little and said she’ll text me on Monday for more information.

Monday comes along and she text’s me if I wanted them to come over still. I had a late meeting that day and they weren’t sure if I was going to be tired after work. I said it’s all right and to come over around 07:45’ish.

My meeting ended at 07:00 p.m. and I rushed out to drive to my apartment. I wanted to tidy up beforehand because it was dirty. I got into my apartment and began sweeping my bathroom and kitchen like a chicken with its head cut off.

I finally finished and checked the text that i sent to her with my address. I just noticed that I gave her the incorrect address and replied back hurriedly with the correct one. A minute later she calls saying they’re there and I go out to greet them.

They brought dinner which was nice of them to do. We walked towards my apartment and the first thing most people notice about it is my brightly colored yellow couch. Trust me .. it’s so bright a blind man can see it 50 miles away.

So they came in .. I gave them the little tour and she made fun of my twin size bed. Which is fine because most people do … I mean I’m about 6’0″ … so yeah … kind of small, haha. I went to change as they set dinner up.

It was kind of awkward having them there … just in the respect that I don’t think any of us knew what to do or how to act. It almost felt like having my sister there … weird.

We finished dinner and she offered to wash dishes because, “she’s used to it”, from doing it so much at her boyfriends apartment. We watched television a little bit and they left shortly after that because I think she knew I was getting tired.

I thanked them for coming over and bringing dinner. I didn’t really get to talk to Nat like I wanted to … maybe next time though. But it was nice having them over … even if it was just watching television and joking around with each other.

Part of me wishes I could still talk to her on a daily / weekly basis. We use to work together and after she quit .. it became harder for us to hang / talk to each other. Due to the fact that both of us had school, other commitments, and I was still working there.

She made the effort texting me and asking to hang out after she quit, while I neglected her.

I’ll admit that … I neglected her friendship because I was still working and it felt like a clique at my job. It was like, “Oh .. I don’t need her now because I have new people to hang out with.”

It felt like a clique because people who quit weren’t part of it anymore; they were “shunned” .. per-se. It’s really interesting to see the dynamic’s of my previous job … quite interesting.

That was one of the biggest mistake I’ve made and if I had the chance to do it all over again … I would. But that’s in the past and all this, “I would have” .. “I should have” .. hoopla doesn’t bring the fact that I treated her like crap after she quit.

Like her I quit my previous job about a year and a half ago. And like her .. I really make the effort in hanging out with my friends who are still working there.

But it feels like some of them are doing exactly what I did to Nat. I’ll ask them to do lunch or hangout, but they’ll always say, “Oh I’m busy .. sorry” and go hangout with people from their job. 

Not a lot of them do that … just a select few. Some of them actually follow through .. which is nice of them to do.

So is this karma’s way of showing me what I did wrong?

Anyways, both of us still know what’s going on with each other, to a certain degree though. It doesn’t replace how it use to be and that I almost lost a great friend …

I guess that’s why we mistakes .. to learn and hopefully … hopefully grow from it …..

– A


Entry filed under: General, Life, Personal, Thoughts.

8 Years, 100,000 Miles My iPhone Apps

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Tara  |  July.21.2008 at 6:59 am

    That’s why you need a cat for your apartment. It’s nice to have a pet to come home to, plus they won’t take up too much room like a human roommate would. They don’t pay the rent, but that’s the only downside. 😉

    Ex-coworkers do fall out of contact. It’s sad. I was able to keep in contact with some, but then it almost becomes a chore because they start becoming more distant. I thought I was friends with one girl who used to work here. She got another job and even though I sent her emails, she would hardly ever respond after awhile. I thought maybe I had done something wrong, although I wouldn’t even know what I did. I guess the distance just happens sometimes.

  • 2. - A  |  July.21.2008 at 10:03 pm

    That’s what my friend Shawn said .. she said I needed a dog. But if you knew me well enough .. it probably wouldn’t survive since I’m not at my apartment too much during the weekday’s.

    I feel exactly how you do about ex-coworkers. I know it happens like you said because of the distance issue.

    But it just sucks to know that I we spent so much time getting to know someone and they suddenly befriend us because we’re not there anymore. It’s like “Out of sight .. out of mind.”

    But at least a couple still try and keep in touch, which is great of them to do.


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About Me

The short version: Guy in his late-20's, loves technology (especially Apple) and his close friends, eating ice cream on his bright yellow couch and finally .. I'm gay.

But you can read the long version HERE

Quotes Of The Day

- "In the end, every relationship needs maintenance …Whether it’s the smallest gesture …or just picking up back where you left off. The bottom line is that if you care about someone, it’s pretty easy to make the sacrifice."

- J.D. (From Scrubs)

July 2008
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