Say What’s On Your Mind

“At the end of the day, the best thing to do for your friends is to be honest ….. You just have to hope that your honesty doesn’t make them realize something they didn’t want to know.”

- J.D.

If you haven’t seen Scrubs yet … it’s one hilarious show to watch. I’ve recently been watching reruns on Comedy Central (but not the new ones on NBC yet) and I love hearing the narrations from J.D. … they’re quite insightful when you really think about them.

I’m the type of person who reflects on life, my own and other people’s. It’s just me, so i cannot fight it nor change that about me.

Anyways, the above quote got me thinking about honesty with the people in my life, whether it be with co-workers, close friends, and even family. People always say, “Honesty is the best policy”, but how true is that?

I’ll admit … the truth hurts … it hurts your ego, it hurts your emotions, it hurts your relationship with friends. But in the end, you can only hope that it’ll make you a stronger person.

You never how the other person will react when they hear it. Granted some may already know, but it might be awkward to hear it aloud for the first time or even from someone close to them.

I’m usually honest with people and hope they’re the same with me. Granted I can be quite frank when the time comes. An example was with my friend Nat, long story short … she blew me off a couple of times when we were suppose to get together and that got me upset.

When I saw her finally I was honest with the way I felt. Granted I could have kept it to myself, been fake and made it seem like it was all right, and go our merry way. She’s a close friend and to be fake with her would be unfair to both of us.

I remember telling this story to a friend of mine and he seemed surprised that I was honest with her. In my head I was thinking, “Well yeah, what was I suppose to do? Say nothing and pretend that she didn’t blow me off?”. Eventually she apologized and both of us said our peace.

Another prime example was letting a guy I knew, Ryan, that I liked him. I feel it was one of the biggest mistakes that I made. Like the quote above, I think it was something that he didn’t want to know.

It was really awkward afterwards between us and it hurt … I’m not going to pretend it didn’t … but it did. I remember a buddy of mine telling me to stop bitching about him and move on.

I was quite surprised that he had the balls to say that to me because he’s not usually the type of person to be honest with you up front.

Honesty, it’s like a double edge sword. I know it hurts, but I’d rather have honesty from people then having them lie to me, and one thing I cannot stand is when people lie to me.

One of many pet peeves, and people in my life know this about me. *Smirks*

So at the end of the day, is the best thing to do for your friends is to be honest with them? I say yes, it may hurt, but I’d rather hear it from a friend than a complete stranger off the street.

- A

MySpace Hates Mac

I honestly don’t understand why MySpace hates my Mac, my beautiful baby. I use Safari when I’m on it and for some reason that is unknown, everything on MySpace loads fracking slowwwwwwwly. Sometimes pictures or people’s profiles don’t ever show up.

Most of the time I refresh the page like a crazy mofo, but still … everything loads slowly or not at all. But what did I expect from them in the first place? I don’t even want to see what’s behind the scene at all. Okay .. so maybe it’s just the browser you say?

I downloaded Firefox for the Mac and still have the same problem. Pages load slower than molasses, seriously … to the point that it feels like dial up to me. I even tried Camino, another browser for the Mac, with the same results from the other two browsers.

It’s kind of frustrating to navigate to MySpace now whenever I’m using a Mac … stupid MySpace … get your act together and fix the damn code. What the heck is going behind the scene … I swear it’s like the site was made specifically for Micro$oft.

Anyways, the weather was HOT this weekend. It felt like summer and even though I sleep shirtless … I wanted to just take my shorts off and sleep in my boxer briefs.

I didn’t have a good night sleep because I kept tossing and turning in my bed and the dream I had was odd. It was weird because I was on vacation in Europe and towards the end of it, I had a big argument with my buddy James. *Rolls eyes*

Anyways … I’m happy to have seen on the news that it’ll cool off a bit by mid-week. Thank goodness for those onshore winds! And it’s getting closer to June, which makes me happy because WWDC is nearing!

- A

The Boiling Frog Metaphor

So this week I went to take a training class to help me (and everyone else) learn how to develop our careers. Basically giving us ideas and showing us what we can do to advance our careers. We took this test before hand and got our results when we arrived.

I don’t have the results in front of me because it’s back at the office, but anyways I thought the class was really enlightening because it showed areas that I could improve on. It also gave me ideas on where my career is heading and what makes me truly happy at a job.

The instructor, I thought, was insightful and helpful. So to the title of this blog post … she used a metaphor when she was talking about changing careers in her life. In that she was at her previous job for about 20 years, but wasn’t truly happy at what she was doing.

That she just got really comfortable doing it that she didn’t think twice about maybe changing career paths or finding something that she truly enjoys. So she used a metaphor to explain it.

Hopefully I remember it, so here goes.

Place a frog into a pot of cold water and start heating it. As the water is slowly heating up, the frog get comfortable in it. The frog gets more relaxed and a bit sleepy due to the ever slowly heating water. 

By the time the water actually boils, the frog got so accustomed to the water that it basically died sitting there in the pot.

Now if you already had a boiling pot of water and throw the frog into it, it’ll jump right out because it’s such a shock to it.

I guess you can apply this to life also and not just your job. We sometimes get so comfortable or used to our current situation that we don’t really want to escape from it. 

It just feels so nice, so why bother right?

Anyways, that day was really long for me because the class started at 08:00 a.m. which meant I had to wake up at 05:30 a.m.. Why so early you must ask? Because it was in downtown and driving on the 5 freeway is a pain in the you know where.

- A

Webapps for the iPhone

For the time being, since we can’t install applications onto the iPhone, the next best thing would be webapps. Yes I know it can be a pain to view and load webpages on EDGE, but come on … what did you guy’s expect when you first bought it?

Okay, so here are some of my favorite webapps / sites that I have on my iPhone:

• Twitter on ThinCloud – For those people who love Twitter, like me, and wonder what your friends are up to. This is the perfect little client for you! On EDGE, it loads fairly quickly in most cases, I have had it hang here and there. Really useful if you don’t like using Twitter’s iPhone version website.
• Facebook – Ahhh, the ubiquitous Facebook … you can’t live with it and you can’t live without. For those who can’t get enough of this site and need your daily does of it, enjoy the iPhone version of it. Again loading on EDGE isn’t TOO bad. I have one gripe about it though:
  • I want to see all my friends, not just the ones online or who’ve posted a status. (If this functionality exist already, please feel free to let me know)
• MySpace – Well they finally revamped their mobile site, it was quite atheistically ugly before. Visually it looks a BIT better … but I think they can do better. You can view your friends, post comments, look at pictures, etc. It’s a bit buggy using Mobile Safari, but hey … it’s better than nothing.
• TinyBuddy IM – An AIM IM application. Similar to Meebo (which works a bit better on the iPhone depending on who you ask). You can view your buddies, change your status, etc. On EDGE, it takes awhile to sign on (which is frustrating at times). Once you see on of these sites, you’ve seen them all.
• TIME Mobile – For those times when you’re waiting for the train or a friend to show up, why not read up on TIME? The iPhone mobile version loads quickly on EDGE in my personal opinion, which is quite shocking. If you haven’t used it yet, go check it out!
• Fandango Movie Times - This is a great site for you movie buff’s. You can check movie times around your area, get maps on where the theater is, read reviews, and also purchase movie tickets (I believe they charge you an extra convenient charge (which is $1.00). But it’s great when you’re out with a friend, find a movie to watch, buy your tickets online and voila! This is what I love about the iPhone … it just makes everything so simple!
• AOL TV Listings – Sometimes I sit on my couch and wonder, “Hey … what’s on TV right now?”. It’s just your typical tv listing, can take a couple of extra seconds to load due to the graphics … but it’s bearable though.

So these are the webapps that I currently have on my phone. Are there any other webapps / sites that you guy’s love using? For the time being I’m pretty content on using these until the final version of the SDK comes out and we’re all rolling around in actual applications!

And yes … I think everyone’s expecting the 3G iPhone to come out in June … one more month baby! There was one day before a meeting was going to start at work.

I noticed my Lead playing with his iPhone and asked if he was going to buy the 3G iPhone when it comes out. He jokingly said he probably wouldn’t because it cost him $400 for this one.

A couple of day’s later he IM’ed me and said he dropped his phone and it now has a large crack running right down the center of the screen. He jokingly said it was my fault because I said if he was going to buy the 3G iPhone. “Guess I’ll be buying it now”, he said jokingly.

The iPhone … it’s not just a phone … it’s a lifestyle.

- A

I Choose The Red Pill

I Choose The Red Pill

Originally uploaded by - &e -

Now let’s see if I can wake up and see what reality is really like.

I hate taking pills that are larger than a tic tac.

Body Odor, The Odor Shouldn’t Travel

I had training in Downtown L.A. this week and also the last half of last week. It’s been incredibly tiring and wonder sometimes how I managed to commute from where I live to downtown everyday.

Training was really good because things started to make sense and I’m slowly starting to see how things relate to one another now. This week was heavy because we were going over payroll and accounting topics, which brought memories of when I took accounting in college.

Okay, so to the post of this title …..

Hello 5 Freeway

Hello 5 Freeway

Originally uploaded by - &e -

My arch nemises I’m almost to downtown.

The Weekend Rundown

I really don’t have a topic (like any of my other posts) to write about, so I’m just going to free flow it and hopefully go somewhere with it.

This weekend was freaking hot here in L.A., it honestly felt like summer again. I hear it’s cooling down again during the week and pleased to hear that news. The weekend was somewhat mundane as usual, is that ever new?

On Friday I had dinner with my buddy James and did our usual routine of catching up with one another. He had work early the next morning so we just ate and left, but it was nice seeing him again. 

I didn’t do much on Saturday, I went apartment shopping again. The complex and unit was nice, but it smelled like someone was smoking when we were in the actual unit (which was really disgusting to me). It may have been the air freshener though, but wasn’t really sure and didn’t want to ask. 

The price (high $1200’s) was within my budget, but they don’t cover utilities at all. I was kind of let down when I heard that because the budget I created for myself is very tight. The thing is I know I can get a one bedroom for about $1000 or less.

But what I’ve found is that there’s a correlation to price and area, or that infamous quote of, “Location, Location, Location”. Sure I can find an apartment with cheap rent, but I’m not going to be in the greatest area.

Can I live with that, yes I can. Would I be happy with that, no I won’t. It’s just like buying a house, you want to at least be happy where you’ll be living. Who would spend $500,000 on a house where they just couldn’t enjoy where they lived.

So I’m really contemplating whether I could actually afford living in the complex I saw. I’m going to see what my co-worker say’s tomorrow, he’s usually good at this stuff and gives pretty good advice. I sat at home the rest of the day and just relaxed.

Sunday I sat at home again and relaxed or more like going bored crazy out of my mind (literally). What’s worse is I’m taking vacation this Thursday and Friday and I really want to be out of the house.

It gets frustrating when you feel like you can only see or hang out with your friends a certain amount. Like you can only see them once a month or twice every 4 months. It’s like I can’t just call them up and ask, “Hey, you feel like coffee?” and do anything spontaneous.

I understand it’s hard to do anything during those situations, but I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore because everything just feels so chaotic right now. The paranoid side of me that I thought was buried away is slowly creeping back.

I hate that part of me because I start distrusting everyone and anyone I meet. My close friends, co-workers, family … I suddenly feel like they’re out to get me or they’re hiding and not telling me things, but everyone else and their mothers know about it, or they’re talking behind my back.

Growing up, I’ve always felt like that … that people were always out to get me. If someone did something nice for me, I would think that they had an ulterior motive or they were force into doing it. I don’t understand what caused this in me.

I’ve always had trust issues with people, everyone I’ve known … it always comes down to trust issues. “You’ve just got to start trusting people”. I don’t remember if I read that somewhere or if someone told that to me. It’s hard.

To really trust someone, I would have to open up and be vulnerable. Be vulnerable of being rejected, be vulnerable of getting hurt, and be vulnerable to them. I think that’s what scares me the most, to finally trust someone and have them betray me.

Or somehow get hurt my them, emotionally of course. Because of this I probably distrust everyone and anyone I’ve ever met. Like when I hear people say, “Yeah you’re my close friend” or “Because you’re my best friend”.

In my heart I know they truly mean that because it’s coming from them, they’re being vulnerable to ME by just saying that. But in my head I don’t believe them and think, “They say they’re your best friend, but in the end, they probably step over your dead body”.

These are things I’ve got to work out and I appreciate people in my life who stand up and have the guts to actually talk to me about these things. For that I really do love them because of their concern.

Anyways, it’s funny that I started writing about my weekend and it turned into a post about my trust issues, stupid me. So this week I get to drive to Downtown L.A. for training, and I’m not looking forward to the 5 Freeway at all.

Fortunately, Tuesday and Wednesday are half days .. but have to drive back to the office because I have meetings during the afternoon. After those 3 days, it’s vacation time, blah.

So time for some rest because I have to get gas and drive on that evil forsaken 5 freeway. NOOOOO!!!!!! Night y’all.

Thanks for listening to me bitch and moan, . It was nice getting it off my chest.

- A

Oh Its You Again

My parents have been on vacation for over a month now and tonight they will be returning. Honestly … I’m not looking forward to them returning tonight because it’s been nice not having them in my hair constantly.

Yes .. they’re my parents .. but still .. I need some space away from them. Thankfully my sister is going to pick them up because I am not in the mood to be doing that at all this week.

Ahhh … the good times are over and it’s back to the usual routine … for now though. Damn it! They’re back!

Hopefully they’ll decided to go on vacation again in a couple of months, haha. I think they should go to Europe,

- A

Yay!!

Yay!!

Originally uploaded by - &e -

Got my free Jamba breakfast item! Thanks Jamba! Hope it taste good.

- A