Confused

(Photo Credit: Flickr)

Okay, so I’ve mentioned my crush at work in a couple of posts. Either he’s really nice and sweet or maybe he is in fact gay, but still hiding in the closet. I’m just a bit confused at the moment and don’t really know what his underlying motives are. Are these clues or hints I should be investigating further? Maybe … or maybe he’s just really sweet that way.

- I mentioned he gave me socks as a birthday present. What most people don’t know is that I have this weird thing of buying random colored or cute looking socks. So I was quite shocked he knew that about me, even though we don’t talk to each other at work that often.

- We went out for dinner on my birthday and while I was talking to my friend Jim, I felt my phone vibrate. I quickly reached into my pocket, while talking to him still and noticed I got a text. My first thought was it was from my other friend Ry. I saw The Crush’s name and was surprised that it was from him. He was wishing me a good birthday and hoping I get to relax on my vacation this week. My initial reaction was, “What the hell? He actually remembered!?”, so I text him back to thank him.

- On New Year’s Eve, right before it turned midnight I receive a text. I go see who it was and someone text me a “Happy New Year’s”, one of those messages people just mass text to their friends. I put down my phone and head back onto my bed to read Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows (I finally finished it!) and hear another text. I get up from my bed again and see it’s from The Crush. He actually put my name in it, so I knew it wasn’t one of those mass text messages people send. I text him back wishing him the same as well. I thought it peculiar that he would actually text me.

- What do these signs point to, something out of the ordinary? Or is he just being really nice? I don’t know. And the sad thing is, I’m not really interested in him anymore. Well a little bit still, but it’s not as heated like it was before. Or maybe I’m just afraid of commitment, of being rejected of putting myself out there and getting hurt.

Plus, never having been out on a real date with a guy before, I really don’t know what I’m looking for. And I know those times I hung out with my friend Ry doesn’t count and that blind date either … haha.

- A

Blah, the weather report says it’s going to be raining all weekend long. I feel like going to grab some chicken noodle soup from Panera, mmmm, that sounds really good right now.